The notion of “good” and “bad” children is deeply ingrained in society. People can be quick to name personality traits and behaviors that make a child “good” or “bad.” However, these labels often come as a result of adults not having enough understanding of brain development, how children process information, how they learn, and how they communicate their emotions.
Children perceived as “good kids” and respectful tend to be more sensitive and receptive, which makes them activate responses such as agreeableness and kindness to try to appease the parent. Children who are perceived as acting “bad,” disrespectful, rebellious, or defiant tend to display behaviors such as being opinionated, outspoken, and non-conforming. One is not better than the other, they are simply different ways children express their internal experience.
Understanding Your Child’s Brain Development
The human brain starts development before birth and does not fully develop until age 25. The amygdala, which helps people understand the impact of their actions, is the last part of the brain to develop. Meanwhile, from birth to five, the brain is developing everything from sensory processing to rational thinking. A child’s capacity for more complex thinking doesn’t develop until between the ages of 12 to 18. If it seems like your child cannot think rationally, it’s literally because their brain might not be equipped to do so just yet.
Fight/ Flight Protective Responses
Another factor that can impact your child’s reasoning is when, as Dr. Daniel Siegel calls it, they “flip their lid.” That is when your child or teen’s emotions get so overwhelming that they lose access to the frontal part of their brain and cannot think or act clearly. In these moments, it’s common for children to kick, scream, become fidgety and restless, throw things, freeze, argue, or even find it difficult to form a coherent sentence or thought. The best thing to do when this happens is pause, take a break, and let the brain engage in other activities so your child’s rational brain can come back online.
It’s much easier to have compassion and be more open to finding solutions when you understand that your child is not being difficult. Rather, they are experiencing difficult moments and overwhelming emotions.
Even in their Hardest Moments, What Your Child Wants the Most is Connection
Even though it may not feel like it at the moment, what a child wants the most is love and connection. It can be difficult for your child to feel connected to you when they feel misunderstood or unheard. This is why seeing the good in your child, especially in their difficult moments, can be helpful in taming difficult emotions.
Listen to your children with the intent to understand, not with the intent to respond. Children tend to feel frustrated when they sense that you are not attuning to what they are saying. A child who doesn’t feel heard can raise their voice in the hopes the parent will hear them. This is an intuitive response, not a conscious one.
Reflect back what they said
Explain to your child what you understood. When you reflect back what they said, you show them two things. 1) you are indeed listening. 2) You understand their point and experience, even when you don’t agree with them.
Validate their experience
People want to know their emotions make sense, and your children are no different. Let them know it makes sense to feel the way they do and that it’s okay for them to feel whatever they are feeling.
Reaffirm your love for them
It’s important for children to know that even in their hardest moments, they are loved. When children know they are loved no matter what, it gives them a sense of safety and unconditional connection. When children value the connection they have with their parents, they are more likely to make attempts at repair and healthy communication.
Model the behavior you want your child to learn
If you ask your child to communicate using their words while you are yelling at them, you are modeling the undesired behavior. Learn to model the way in which you want your child to communicate with you. The more they see it and experience it, the easier it will be for them to learn.
Realme launched its first tablet, the Realme Pad, less than six months ago. It wasn’t perfect by any measure, but it definitely stood out thanks to its budget price tag. Unfortunately, the company revealed last week that it wouldn’t be bringing any OS updates to the slate.
The saga made us question just how important OS updates are to people when buying a tablet. We posed this question to readers and here’s how you answered it.
How important are OS updates to you when buying a tablet?
We embedded the poll in our Realme Pad update story on January 12, attracting over 1,600 votes as of writing. The winner? Well, it turns out that almost 44% of polled readers say OS updates are the top priority when buying a tablet.
Meanwhile, almost 40% of respondents say OS updates are one of several priorities when buying a tablet. This makes sense too, as other factors like battery life, horsepower, screen quality, and storage might be just as important to you.
Almost 14% of voters say OS updates are nice to have but not a must when buying a tablet. Finally, roughly 3% of polled readers say OS updates aren’t important at all when looking for a tablet.
Stanley Kubrick: Wow, that stinks! My Galaxy Tab S7+ just got Android 12 this morning! I guess you get what you pay for.
Nicolas31: I just buy Realme Pad some days ago, it’s a good product, I was sure they will be updated to A12 until today… It’s the first Realme product I bought and it was the last as well …
Kira: It’s good that I steered clear of this tablet, and instead bought the Nokia T20 which promises 2 years of OS updates and 3 years of security updates. Just hope, that Nokia sticks to its promises given its recent decisions regarding its smartphone lineup.
Zckom: If someone is looking into a tablet now, it is either Samsung or iPad you should go for. At least, Samsung provides 2 Android updates to older tablets (never changed in ages) and the newer tablets get 3 Android version updates.
SUNGOLD: I think an update won’t be necessary if the stock software is good but I don’t know about that as I haven’t used it. Mainly, the thing that disappoints me is that it won’t get Android 12L which is designed for large screen devices like this one.
Albin: My old Acer tablet running Android J-4.x never got any updates, bought in 2014 it worked fine with nearly all apps updated in the Play Store until about 2019 when a gradual drop-off by developers began. Old versions of apps continued to work for most of what it was used for, and by that time any version updates (e.g. Android L-5.x) to the tablet’s 8GB of internal storage and 1GB of RAM would have destroyed performance.
Thanks for voting in our poll and for leaving a comment. Are you planning to buy a new tablet this year? Let us know below.
It’s the land of the free, the home of the brave, but if you’re not from here, the United States might seem like the weird side of the world. Here are the biggest culture shocks that non-Americans experienced stateside. Hit the comments to share your own biggest culture shock, from wherever it was.
Why eating a more wholesome diet can trigger a healing crisis or a worsening of symptoms and why this should not discourage or short circuit efforts at living a healthier lifestyle.
More people than ever are working to improve their diet and lifestyle. This is great news!
Unfortunately, early on in the process of making important changes, some may experience what’s called a “healing crisis”.
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The risk of this happening is particularly high if lifestyle modifications are drastic.
For example, suddenly eliminating all sugar from the diet cold turkey if consumption was quite high previously can really throw the body for a loop.
The critical retracing or “die-off” may be so severe that the person may be tempted to abandon efforts to improve diet altogether!
Natural Healing Can Trigger a Temporary “Crisis”
In my 20+ years of natural health coaching, I’ve seen this process occur more times than I can count.
The truth is that natural healing first and foremost requires the body to rid itself of toxic substances. This must occur before life-improving rebuilding and health improvements gain traction.
This can translate into a temporary period of worsening symptoms. How long?
This depends on a variety of factors such as age, metabolism, severity of toxic build-up, and prior dietary quality.
Sometimes, the detoxification process can be so severe, that a person quite literally can’t leave the house for a while.
In other cases, a person in the midst of a healing crisis may mistake symptoms for actual infection or illness.
For example, just last week, a reader urgently reached out with symptoms of lightheadedness. She had just consumed some 24-hour kefir she made at home with raw, grassfed milk.
Kefir, in particular, is highly cleansing. It is the most powerful fermented food, with dozens of beneficial bacterial and yeast strains that aggressively reverse pathogenic colonization in the gut.
Using it for the first time can definitely bring on rapid detoxification as the body goes into overdrive cleansing the gut of pathogens.
Another example of A friend of mine noticed when she started drinking kefir, her eczema flared back up. She backed down how much she was drinking and worked up slowly.
Sure enough, her eczema went away and did not reappear even consuming a quart a day! In addition, her overall health improved considerably from the introduction of raw 24-hour kefir into her diet (which was otherwise excellent).
While there are ways to mitigate detox symptoms (going slow is the most important one), it’s important to realize that it is normal for them to occur.
In other words, don’t panic!
A healing crisis can also involve the skin.
One person in my wellness community experienced small, but painful, pus-filled ulcer breakouts around the elbows, knees, and hips during the first six months of the GAPS diet.
Wisely, he realized that these ulcers were a skin-based healing crisis and did not necessitate a trip to the dermatologist, who would have likely only made things worse with toxic creams or oral pharmaceuticals.
With patience and perseverance, these painful clusters gradually reduced in number, and then stopped completely. They never returned once sufficient detoxification occurred.
Rest and Keep Going! Don’t Throw in the Towel!
While a healing crisis can be inconvenient and even a bit alarming, it should not in any way serve as a source of discouragement from the inevitable progress that is right down the road!
As the body heals through diet, non-toxic therapies, and lifestyle, symptoms gradually improve and eventually fade away over time.
This may be days, weeks, or even months into the process.
Instead of being hard on yourself or abandoning positive changes, it is important to realize that a “healing crisis” is telling you that things are working.
To maximize the body’s directional energy to the organs and tissues where the most valuable healing is most likely occurring, it is important to rest as much as possible during this time.
Just like fighting an infection, releasing the body’s toxic burden can be fatiguing.
If you need to back off a bit in order to make symptoms manageable so they don’t affect work, school, or relationships, then do so.
But, by all means, be patient and stay the course!
Temporary worsening of symptoms you are working to resolve will almost certainly break through to feeling better than you ever did before!